Why Didn't Your Grandparents Deconstruct? Peace, Postmodernism & Christmas Traditions
THE SHOCK ABSORBER
What is peace?
Here's what Tim was wrestling with in preparing his sermon on “God, Why Can’t I Find Peace?”. The timing of the sermon, in the morning of the Bondi Beach terror attack, proved to be curious.
Why does this generation struggle so profoundly with peace? He leaned heavily on Jonathan Haidt's research: rising depression, anxiety, suicide ideation, across all generations, particularly acute among young people. One major cause? We're habitually online, and being online creates habitats where we're constantly discontent, dissatisfied, and aware of every terrible thing happening everywhere all at once.
The Hebrew word for peace is shalom. It's richer than what we mean when we say "peace" in English. It's wholeness, the coming together of what's been fragmented. It's external, the ceasing of war and violence. But it's also internal, emotional, psychological, spiritual rest. It's social. Economic. Political. It covers everything. But it is all in God’s character
His peace operates on two levels simultaneously in Scripture.
First, peace is a gift. It's supernatural, Spirit-empowered, given by God. It isn't something we manufacture or earn. Jesus brings peace—that's the whole Advent theme heading into Christmas.
Second, peace is something we're commanded to do. We're told to live at peace, to seek peace, to pursue peace with everyone as much as it depends on us. It's not passive. It's active obedience.
Both dimensions come from the Holy Spirit. He gifts us peace and He empowers us to pursue it.
Peace Guards Our Hearts
Tim turned to Philippians 4:6-7 for his sermon: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
The question he turned over in his mind for days: How does peace guard your heart and mind? As a fortress? A shield? What does that actually mean when you're lying awake at 3 AM worrying about everything?
It's the relationship with God that creates the guarding.
Prayer isn't a magic formula. It's relationship. When we bring everything to God - our anxieties, our depression, our rage, our fear about household sickness - that act of bringing it to Him is an act of faith, obedience, trust.
We can do this because we know He's good, sovereign, Lord, King. But also a friend and our Father. That's the relationship that creates the fortress around our hearts and minds.
Not the circumstances changing. The relationship itself.
Peace Through Prayer
Most of us operate on this assumption: "If God fixes my problem, then I'll have peace." If the sickness ends, there'll be peace. If the political situation calms down, there'll be peace. If the tragedy gets resolved, there'll be peace.
But that's not what Paul is saying in Philippians.
God doesn't promise He'll always answer prayers the way we want. Sometimes He says no. Sometimes, He says "My grace is sufficient." We can pray for an end to suffering, an end to sickness, an end to brokenness and not get the answer we're hoping for.
But peace comes through the act of prayer regardless of the answer.
It's fostering that relationship, bringing pain, fear, anger, and confusion to God that creates the peace which guards hearts and minds. This is deeply countercultural in our results-oriented world. We want solutions. We want resolution. We want the thing we're praying for to actually happen.
A Truly Safe Relationship
Here's the thing: in a truly safe relationship, you can complain.
The psalmists cry out to God, complain to God, get angry with God sometimes. And that's not seen as a failure of faith. It's seen as proof of relationship.
But Romans 8 promises nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. The atonement brings us into relationship with God. We're secure there.
And the ability to come to God with tears, sadness, rage, joy, celebration, whatever we're facing, is actually a sign of that relationship's health and strength.
In the face of terrorist attacks or personal tragedy or just the low-grade existential dread of being alive in 2025, being able to bring it all to God is itself a Christian practice. It's how we receive the peace He's offering.
The Question That's Haunting a Generation
The conversation shifts to an article by Paul Anleitner: "Why Didn't Your Grandparents Deconstruct?"
Many peers, friends, people from youth group days have left the church. Some leaving the faith entirely. Some still believe in Jesus but won't step foot in a church anymore. Some are still around but have deconstructed major chunks of what they grew up believing.
The reasons are often the same: church hurt, moral failure by leaders, bad theology, unanswered questions that nobody took seriously.
None of those things are new.
Church hurt has existed for centuries. Moral failures by leaders? Check every generation. Bad theology? Unanswered questions? All of it has been around forever.
So why is it specifically this generation, those who grew up in youth group in the '90s, who experienced those things and have left?
When Everything Became a Choice
Anleitner’s answer to the deconstruction problem is about meta-narratives, the big overarching stories that hold culture together.
In previous generations there was one dominant story that everyone basically lived inside. There was nowhere else to go. The story was the story. Where would you exit to? What alternative was available?
Postmodernism as an intellectual movement started in the '40s and '50s. But it hit popular culture in the late '80s and early '90s, exactly when older millennials were coming of age.
It fractured the single story meta-narrative into multiple stories. It claims:
There is no single meta-narrative holding everyone together
Truth is socially constructed
Multiple narratives exist, and you get to pick which one you live in
Institutions and hierarchies are inherently corrupt
Every story hides a play for power
Be suspicious and cynical by default
Religion especially has been used by the powerful to oppress
The path to authenticity is through deconstruction
Programmed to Leave
"Unlike our grandparents' generation who were never shaped by the postmodern anti-story, our cultural scripts have programmed us to see deconstruction as one of the chief markers of an authentic life. Our new cultural catechism taught us that if something feels painful or constraining, the answer isn't reform, it's exit.
We are subtly programmed to believe that all overarching stories mask a play for power, especially religion. If an institution fails you, walk away or burn it down in your Che Guevara, Heath Ledger Joker, or Rick and Morty T-shirt.
The hurts and pains in a journey of faith from one generation to the next are not that different, but what has changed is how we have been culturally programmed to respond to them."
What Would Jesus Do?
What makes the deconstruction movement stranger is that it happened during what, on face value, looked to be a high point for evangelical youth culture.
What Would Jesus Do bracelets weren't just for church kids, everyone had them. Christian music exploded beyond church walls. Bands like MxPx, Underoath, and Norma Jean were signed to Tooth and Nail Records and headlining Warped Tour alongside secular bands. Christian subculture leaked into mainstream awareness. People who never went to church knew what WWJD meant, had seen VeggieTales, had friends in youth group.
Youth group attendance seemed to peak. Soul Revival exploded in growth during this time. Churches across Sydney saw their high school ministries thriving.
And now it's that generation, the one that seemed most engaged with Christian culture, that's now leading the charge in deconstruction.
Some left faith entirely—the ex-vangelical movement of those departing evangelicalism for no faith at all. Some pursue what they call "churchless faith", still believing in Jesus but convinced the institutional church is so corrupt and unreformable that they have to leave.
Some stay in church but deconstruct major theological claims. There's been a rise in people rejecting penal substitutionary atonement. There's this spirit of "this was part of the story I inherited, and I need to throw it off to be authentic."
Deconstruct the Deconstruction-ism
What if walking away from church wasn't a rebellious act of self-definition but the most predictable outcome of cultural programming?
Anleitner hints that there might be a "vibe shift" happening, a cultural moment where the relentless deconstruction itself is questioned.
We could be seeing the hints of this already: the quiet revival in the UK where young people are interested in church. Gen Z are seeking out liturgy and tradition and structure. Catholic services are drawing crowds, not despite, but because they offer something old and inherited?
Which Traditions Actually Matter?
This naturally leads the conversation to Christmas.
Christmas is one of the few Christian traditions that secular culture still participates in, even if most of the explicitly religious content has been stripped away. People still gather together and mark December 25th as a special day. They still feel something is significant about it, even if they can't articulate why.
Tim reflects on how normal it's always been for him to attend church on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Growing up Anglican in Australia, that's just what you did. It was only later, through social media, that he realised that in the US, especially in megachurch evangelicalism, Christmas Day services are unusual. Many churches don't even hold them.
"I find that bizarre," Tim says. "What else would you rather do on Christmas Day? This is the day of Jesus' birth. Why wouldn't you be in church with God's family?"
Christmas Day services always draw visitors, some who we might only see once or twice a year, families bringing non-believing relatives who are in town for the holidays.
Tim sees this as a powerful witness to people in your life who aren't regular churchgoers.
This bears fruit every year. Countless families use Christmas as the one opportunity for their loved ones to hear about Jesus again. To be in a room where people are singing about the incarnation. To hear the old, old story told one more time.
And it's good for the regulars too. To show up on the day when everyone else is focused on presents and food and family drama, and say: "Actually, there's something else happening here that's worth gathering for."
So Which Traditions Do We Keep?
Postmodernism taught millennials to be suspicious of all traditions, especially religious ones. Everything inherited deserves questioning. If it feels constraining, exit. If it doesn't serve you, burn it down.
But maybe that's not wisdom. Maybe that's just cultural programming.
Not every tradition deserves keeping, the aim of the Shock Absorber is trying to discern what's timeless gospel and what's adaptable cultural practice. Some things can be set aside without losing anything important. But some traditions, like gathering to celebrate Christ's birth, like rehearsing the Nativity story with kids, like bringing visitors and regulars together to sing carols and hear that God became flesh, such traditions matter.
Not because they're old. Not because they're comfortable. But because they tell the true gospel story.
Listen to the full conversation on the Shock Absorber podcast. For more on theology, strategy, and practice in ministry, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or email joel@shockabsorber.com.
Discussed on this episode:
Tim’s sermon on God, Why Can’t I Find Peace?
On Bondi Beach, by Louise Perry
Why Didn’t Your Grandparents Deconstruct?, by Paul Anleitner
Soul Revival Church is an Anglican church in the Sutherland Shire and Ryde.